276: I’m Not Sporty

Most of you will know that my physical prowess is limited - I get no pleasure from physical exercise (and these two facts are obviously related).    John is similarly oriented though he does get pleasure from watching sport on TV.  

There are so many things that seem odd, I thought I would raise them with you.   (Please - for context -  note that often when sport is on TV, I hear the audio but do not see the visuals).

Firstly, why do they have animals playing what are clearly human sports.  Over the last couple of weeks, attention has been focused on a team of lionesses (yes, you heard that right) playing football.  (This is such a poorly-named game as players seem able to hit the ball with every part of the body except their hands.).  This sounds like what used to happen in the Colisseum in Ancient Rome).  Though it has its oddities, I can usually from the commentary work out what is happening in a  football game.

Unlike cricket!

Cricket seems to me the strangest of games.

One team goes in (two at a time while the rest of the team stays in the clubhouse) until one of the two  is out.  The one who is out goes back in the clubhouse and another player who was in the clubhouse comes out of the clubhouse and goes in to join the player on the pitch who is still in. Players who are in become 'out' in a variety of ways - too confusing to describe.  When all the players who have been in, are out, and back in the clubhouse, the other side go in (again, two by two) until all them are out.  The matches sometimes last for five days  and often nothing significant happens for long periods of time but lots pf people go to watch it.   John and Phil can sit in front of the TV for hours watching very little happen - though I notice they usually have some electronic device in front of them.  (This makes it more difficult for me to get hold of the laptop and write my blog.)

Next, take Rugby.  Please, take it.  I don't want it.  Actually, there are two rugbys… or is that rugbies?  One has two sides of 13 players and the other seems to have two sides of 127 players. Though the proper name is, I believe, 'rugby football, in this type of 'football, you can - indeed must -use your hands to catch and carry the ball. While you do this, the other side is trying to stop your progress to the end of the field by all sorts of dastardly means.  Occasionally, when he gets bored, the referee blows his whistle to signal that  some kind of misdemeanour has been committed (though no-one in the audience will know what it was).. Someone then gets to kick there ball before the next pickup.

Tennis seems to be a relatively simple game - except for the scoring system, which I think was invented by the Brothers Grimm.  I make no attempt to describe or even summarise it as my maths is not up to the task.

I could go on - buy I am sure you get the picture.  Sport is odd - and complicated.

Its clearly too much for a dog of little brain - or even one like me with superior intellect (for a dog).

Wait a minute, John's turned the TV on.  Its time for the ultimate physical and mental challenge - Darts!